Bank Robbery
Bank Robbery is the eighth episode in the first season of The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show! SUMMARY After spending all their money without realizing it, Wario and Waluigi gotta make some easy cash or else they're fucked. CHARACTERS *Wario *Waluigi *Some tiny moron that nobody cares about *Dry Bones *Toad SCRIPT Wario is sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating a bowl of popcorn, with butter practically drowning the damn stuff. Waluigi comes in, red with anger. He holds up a print-out of cash transactions from Wario's PayPal. Waluigi: HEY! THE FUCK IS THIS?! Wario: Does every episode have to start with your lanky ass waltzing into the room? Waluigi: No. In fact, the last one didn't have us at all-- Wario: WHAT'D I SAY ABOUT BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL?! Waluigi: S-Sorry! Wait... Wait, no I'm not sorry! Look at this paper! Wario'''stares at the paper for 15 seconds longer than he needs to. '''Wario: We have lots of money...? Waluigi: We HAD lots of money and you fucking SPENT it, you goddamned idiot! WARIO: Cool it, District 75 dropout. I used some funds on a new TV. All we gotta do is get more. Waluigi: Get MORE? We're not rolling in the green, boss, we're using a fair amount of it on this war, and we're running out of funds quickly! We can't go back on welfare! Wario: We're not GOING to. Waluigi: ...huh? Wario: We're gonna rob the bank. Waluigi'''gasps in excitement. '''Waluigi: You mean...?! Wario: That's right. Just like the good ol' days. Classic Wario Bros. heist. Waluigi: Holy shit, we're really doing it! Lemme get our masks... Wario and Waluigi put on their old ski masks they used for robberies. Waluigi: This smells like shit. Wario: Oh, that's where that jizz rag went! Waluigi: ...you are fucking vile. Cut to the exterior of the bank. Wario and Waluigi stand outside, each wielding a gun. Wario: Let's get some war funds. Waluigi kicks the door to open it. He clutches his foot and wails in pain. Waluigi: AAAAAGGHH! WHAT THE FUCK?! Wario: Are you fucking slow? It's a pull door. Wario'''pulls the door open and drags Waluigi inside with him. '''Wario: EVERYBODY BE COOL, THIS IS A ROBBERY! Waluigi jumps to his feet. Waluigi: ANY OF YOU FUCKING PRICKS MOVE, AND I'LL EXECUTE EVERY MOTHERFUCKING LAST ONE OF YOU! The bank is completely empty. Only a mustached Toad wearing a top hat sits behind the desk as the teller. Waluigi: Well, the Pulp Fiction route didn't work. Wario and Waluigi walk up to the Toad, both guns pointed at him. Wario: DARME EL DINERO, AMIGO! Teller: Sorry guys, I can't give you that money. We just got robbed 5 minutes before you guys showed up. WALUIGI: ... Wario: ...qué...?! TELLER: Yeah, some weird skeleton guy and his troops. Called themselves... the... Cooper Dynasty or something-- WALUIGI: The Koopa Dynastia! Wario: Those FUCKERS! TELLER: You know them? Wario: We're locked in a war right now, actually. WALUIGI: Looks like we gotta make another move on them. With some cold, hard lead. Wario: Let's get the fuck outta here. Hope you get your money back, bank teller guy! TELLER: Thanks! Wario: So we can rob you next week! Teller: Thanks... Wario and Waluigi exit. As soon as they do, the Toad takes off the mustache and top hat, revealing... SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: WE GOT 'EM! Dry Bones comes out from underneath the desk, joyful. Dry Bones: YES! OUR PLAN WORKED! That stupid Drop Dead Wario Team won't know what hit 'em... TRIVIA *While the plot of Bank Robbery strays away ever so slightly from the story of the original Robbing the Bank episode (with a few references and callbacks), the remade version adds more to the main lore of the show. *This is the first episode written by WarioWahWahShow. *The movie Wario was watching on the TV was the recent remake of The Hitcher, one of the worst movies known to man, woman, and child. Category:Scripts Category:Show Episodes Category:TSWBWWS Episodes